Friday, July 18, 2014

Latest Dad Film

Here are some more shots of dad, Tri-x 800 ASA with 21mm lens and the Leica M6. Today when I visited dad his voice was a bit stronger than yesterday, he is still losing so much weight. He held my hand and thanked me for coming to visit him as he always does. I tell him lots of stories when I visit, about work about Thailand about silly pet videos, whatever I think will distract him for a while.

On Sunday dad managed to got to Swiss Chalet with mom and my uncle and aunt maybe for the last time. Not sure how much time dad had left, he fights on, eats as much as he can manage and tries his best to keep going. I hope I will have as much courage as he has shown when my time comes.

I want to try to photograph dad smiling and laughing but there is not much of that now. I photograph him how I find him each day, not asking dad to change anything. He has been very open to my camera not limiting what I shoot in any way. I try to document the truth when I photograph but also want to photograph him with respect. Dad has showed me nothing but love my entire life and made me everything I am today. Now he is allowing me the opportunity to record this last phase of his life. I asked him if he wants me to photograph him at the funeral home and he said yes a few shots, so I will photograph my father right up until the end, and then I will photograph him after the end. Last of all I will photograph his gravestone.

I will miss my father so much, not sure how to handle any of this, it's all so difficult. The most important thing is I want dad to be pain free and suffer a little as possible. I am looking forward to next week when I am off work. I can spend more time again with dad, maybe to tell him some stories and just be next to him to help him anyway I can.

Dad, July 2014 Canada
Dad, July 2014 Canada