YAUM's PHOTO DIARY

Fate!? Bought A New Camera A Deardorff 8x10

2012-01-29T16:38:00.000-08:00

I got some unexpected money from my father last week, we were just in the truck together after doing some work and he asked me to stop at the bank. The money came out of no where, I was completely surprised by it but thats my father always worried about his children. My father is the type of man who puts his children before his own personal comfort, he worked hard all his life but his children always came first, he always placed his children's welfare and happiness in front of his own.

I am going to put the money towards my personal debt but I also wanted to buy something special, something I could use and remember my father by after he is gone (he is 79). When my father was younger and got money he usually bought something practical with it, something that would help him remember that person or event. I wanted to do the same thing with some of the money he gave me, I wanted to buy something very special (always dreamed of owning a Deardorff 8x10 wooden field camera) that I could use and create with and pay tribute to my fathers love.

I was unsure of the Deardorff as I have a wonderful Kodak Masterview 8x10 but I wanted something I could do alternative processes with, I want to try collodion wet process shooting. I also figured the Deardorff thou heavier would also be more robust in the field for my Asian portraits when I move up to 8x10 in the field.

I left it up to fate with the camera with a max bid of $1891.00 on ebay and won the auction after the last bidder topped out at $1830.00, I got the camera for $1855.00. I barely won the auction, maybe this was fate jumping in and allowing me to win, maybe it was fate telling me this was the right thing to do.

Every time I use this camera, whether with film or collodion, I will think of Dad. I hope I can create something lasting to his memory, a photograph that will be collected and remembered.

"Its Your Show Do What You Want."

2012-01-29T10:37:00.000-08:00

Visual Arts Alberta Association has given me free reign in my upcoming group show on April 19th. I have the back room to myself which will hold 10 or so large photographs. I was told yesterday by the executive director of the VAAA last night that I can choose from all my imagery to make up a show, to quote him "Its Your Show Do What You Want.". In years past I have submitted 5 different sex worker packages (and been rejected 4 of the 5 times), I guess the executive director recently reviewed and accepted all those previous images as worthy of being shown. Now its up to me to decide what I want to show and how I want to show it, sort of a dream come true. I have the freedom to show what I want in the space I wanted to show it in! This is a great opportunity, something I have waited a long long time for.

I am undecided at present exactly what I will show, I am leaning towards going all white background shots in white frames with a possibility of a a few smaller black frame images of other sex worker related portraiture. I wish I had the front room also! Then I could do some of the colour work, some of the earlier 35mm work etc. I do not want the show to be to chaotic, to many different types of photographs might be a bit confusing. If I stay with the large format white background stuff it will probably be a more effective cohesive presentation.

I also have to write up a artist statement (oh joy!!) and make up a show title.

The VAAA is definitely heading in a better direction, the paintings I saw yesterday by Ricardo Copado and the drawings by Daniel Evans at the gallery were challenging (Copado's bird stuff a bit frightening), I would not mind going back and seeing them again.

Its strange, after all those years of rejection letters from the VAAA, with a change of leadership I now have the freedom to show the same work that was previously unacceptable. I now feel I was on the right track all along. I did not back down and continued to produce the photographs that I thought were important, and now all of the new stuff and all of the old stuff is worthy of being shown in this space. Its good to stick to your guns, fight your way through and make work you think is important. Conviction in what your doing is important, it gives the work added strength, a bit of adversity (rejection letters, friends and others who criticize what you do) also helps, it puts a burr under the saddle and pushes you forward.

Here is a link to the VAAA.

Visual Arts Alberta

Monochrome Guild Running Show at Dauphine Bakery/Bistro

2012-01-28T18:56:00.000-08:00

A traditional printing club I recently rejoined, the Monochrome Guild will have a continuous running show at the Dauphine Bakery/Bistro. There are 5 Monochrome Guild photogs showing, with more to be added later. The work will be changed out every 2 or 3 months and new work added.

I had a long 15 hour photo session and reprint on the 2 end photos below, feel exhausted.

Dauphine bakery and bistro is located on 10129 104 Street.

Here are some vids and pictures from the hanging of the prints.

My 3 photographs, 2 from Klong Toey shot in November.

2 of my friend Rob's beautiful landscapes.

Here are a few low quality vids of the shop and photographs.

Latest "Klong Toey Portraits" Blurb Book

2012-01-26T14:47:00.000-08:00

Put together a larger 7x7 inch square copy of the same photos a before. I wanted to see what the Blurb.com proline pearl paper looked like, it is supposedly special suited for photography books.

That it for the Klong Toey books/booklets for now, going to try making up a sex worker portrait book next so I have something to put on the table at my April VAAA group show.

To bad there is a slight colour cast to the b/w images in these books, the software is fun to play with and and its exciting to see your stuff in a bookish form, even ifs only a online/self published thing that no one else really sees or cares about. Hey a book is a book!

Square Format Proline Pearl Paper Version of "Klong Toey Portraits"

Mailed Off The Grant Submission

2012-01-25T20:35:00.001-08:00

Mailed off my grant submission to the Alberta Foundation for the Arts. I asked for $15000 for a 5 month project, photographing the the people of Issan ("Issan Portraits") with my 4x5 and Tri-x. Will see how it goes, really hope I have the opportunity to do this, if I cannot get a grant I will work extra time for 3 or 4 years and save up the money myself. Got to get the photos made no matter what it takes.

Klong Toey Booklet Version 2

2012-01-25T20:33:00.001-08:00

Well uploaded version 2 of the booklet with about 10 more photos, 40 pages big now. If the sample they send me of this booklet is ok I will order 10 or 15 for the April VAAA show. I also plan to make up a Sex Worker version of the same booklet (40 pages).

Later on when I have more time I plan on making off a higher quality more expensive larger hard cover book as well on their pro line pearl paper.

Heres the link to version 2:

"Klong Toey Portraits" Version 2

Book, Or Should I Say Booklet!

2012-01-23T12:19:00.000-08:00

Got my book today from blurb.com, its actually quite tiny and a better term might be booklet! I was surprised at how good it looks, better than I had hoped. The inside paper is not the kind I like and a few of the images are a bit dark but overall I am relatively pleased, after all it only cost $5.95 to print with a $10 shipping cost plus tax. Heck it cost more to ship the thing than to make the thing.

I will take it onto stage 2 now, move up to a square format of the book with a better quality paper and add some photographs, the current booklet is only 20 pages and 12 photographs.

The soft cover front and back photo which are on a more glossy surface paper look very nice. The printing is also better than I expected with less colour cast on the black and white images than I expected.

After the disaster of the Ladyboy Sex Worker Blurb book I was apprehensive to try again, I am encouraged with this effort thou and will continue working with the Blurb software. If I put together my top 50 4x5 photographs from Klong Toey I should be able to make up something quite nice.

I am thinking of making up a link on this blog and my website to sell the book. If I could sell any copies I could pull in a profit of $10-20 a book. With 3 books sold (and a profit of $20 a book) I could almost buy 50 sheets of Tri-x 4x5!

Grant Submission Almost Done

2012-01-23T12:15:00.000-08:00

Worked my tail off over the last 4 nights on my "Individual Visual Artist And New Media Project Grant". I went through draft after draft of the 5 page project description. I think I finally got something half decent completed and printed at 4am last night. As part of the submission I had to make up a signed original along with 5 copies (one for myself) and a dvd with 10 samples of my work. I also had to fill out a PDF signed application form, a project budget and an inventory of the images sheet. When the jury members go through the application they need 4 copies, one for each jury member. I need to make up the image sample DVD (more scanning this week) but the very painful paper work part is done!! I should be mailing this out mid week, in time to meet the February 1 deadline.

I made a grant request for $15000 (the maximum amount) for a 5 month photography journey through the Issan region of Thailand called "Issan Portraits" The entire project including 4000 sheets of film and 20 boxes of photo paper along with food, transportation and accommodation costs would be more than $15000 (I would have to cover the extra costs over and above the $15000). In the project I would travel using local transport for 5 months through the Issan region of Thailand (northeast Thailand, the poorest part of the country) and make hundreds of large format portraits using the 4x5 Linhof.

Doubt I will get $15000 as they had over 2200 submissions for grants last year. I think it was important to try thou. I at a point in my photography where I am creating good work, work that I am in control of and am confident of. I need money to produce the work, need to get some dollars together to purchase film and allow me the time to make the pictures. I am done buying equipment now, its all about creating the photographs, all my money now goes to creating new negs. If I got this whole grant or a partial grant it would allow me the freedom to make the portraits I know I can make.

Imagine that!!! 5 months in Issan making portraits, getting my food and accommodation as well as film paid for, the freedom! That would be freaking awesome! 5 months of shooting!, 4000 exposures!!, imagine the stories I could tell with those photographs.

Its fun to dream sometimes. : )

4x5 Tri-x Developed!

2012-01-21T07:30:00.000-08:00

Took 600 sheets of Tri-x last trip, the last 5 sheets are washing now in the Jobo as I type this. I am pretty happy overall with what I got, I am disappointed I lost so many images to focusing/movement errors but most of my exposures were adequate and most of the compositions with the Linhof were quite good. I need to get better with the Bananarama 2 both in composing and in focusing but that will come with time. Hopefully most of the tech shooting errors will disappear with time and I can just concentrate on my subject. Once all the photo tech stuff flows more naturally I can do some very good work.

Will spend my next week off printing some of the "Klong Toey Portraits" and also start work printing my group show in April (sex worker on white photographs).

More Banarama 2 Shots

2012-01-21T06:41:00.001-08:00

Bell Boxer Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Boxer Klong Toey, Bangok 2011

Dang Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Scanned More 4x5 Available Light Shots

2012-01-20T07:55:00.000-08:00

Pong 36, Bangkok 2011

Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Bong Ex Champion Boxer/Trainer Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Less Than 40 Sheets To Go

2012-01-20T05:55:00.000-08:00

Well the Tri-x 4x5 film is almost all developed, out of 600 sheets I have about 40 left. I lost lots (30%?) of the negs do to focusing or movement issues, I need to work on lowering those numbers. Overall I am quite happy with the way it went, I need more work with the Banarama 2 but when I focused properly I got some very good negs, with the Linhof I would get subject movement quite often at 1/4 of a second with the tighter upper body shots, need to shoot those at 1/8.

Am starting to get a handle on doing portraiture in the field with a 4x5, Jock's suggestion of using a reflector was very important, the negs now are more evenly lit and will be easier to print. Feel very excited about the possible 4x5 photo sessions in February/March. Can't wait to get back in the field making pictures again!

Other Submissions

2012-01-19T05:15:00.000-08:00

I am going to submit 2 more show packages to the Hamilton Gallery Of Art (the gallery that recently sent me the rejection letter for my sex worker on white background photographs). Will also submit 2 more packages to the Alberta Gallery Of Art (have not heard from them yet) and I want to submit work to photo life and lens work magazines. I also have 3 other sites I want to submit the double submissions to but not sure I have time to do that before I leave for Thai, the other 3 are the larger gallery/museums in Winnepeg, Lethbridge and Toronto.

Then of course I have to submit work to next years Alberta Open competition and the very important art by acquisition program run by the "Alberta Foundation For The Arts" (they purchased my "Young Monk, Chiang Khong Thailand" last year).

I have to much to do do with to little time, mid February I fly to Thailand again to work on "Common Lives"

Feel tired these nights working my nightshifts but I am excited and exhilarated when I see the most recent negs. Plans to make new photographs soon in Thailand (ideas keep running through my mind!) is also very exciting.

"Ain't Photography Grand!"

Working On A Grant Submission

2012-01-19T05:11:00.000-08:00

I am working on a grant submission for the "Alberta Foundation For The Arts" program that helps artists produce new work. I will request the maximum of $15000 to help cover costs for a 4 month trip to Thailand to make portraits in Issan province "Issan Portraits". I would use the money to cover transportation, housing, food, film (4000 sheets of 4x5) plus processing, printing costs etc.

I am not sure it is possible for me (unknown minor photographer) to get an important grant like this, the only other grant I have gotten is the travel grant I recently received for $750 from the Edmonton Arts Council. Even if I do not get it, its worth trying, anything ethical that will help me make pictures, I will try to do! If I fail I will try again and again.

Hopefully the importance of the photographs, the quality of the work, and my commitment to it will sway the grant jury folks.

Contract

2012-01-19T05:05:00.000-08:00

Got my contract from the Kassa gallery people today. I will get $200 when I take the work down in April 2003, the show is tentatively scheduled for January to April 2013. Its good to get a bit of doe, $200 will help pay for 1 box of 16x20 Ilford warm tone photo paper (the paper I will use to print the show). Not sure where I can get 35-40 frames from thou, I have about 12 frames now, I might be able to borrow some from a friend and cut new ones to fill out the lot.

Rejection Letter

2012-01-17T13:20:00.000-08:00

I moved up in weight class several months ago and submitted some of the sex worker on white background photographs to several high end museums and galleries in Canada, got my first rejection today (sent out 5 to various places).

January 4, 2012
Gerry Yaum
.......
.......
Dear Gerry,
Thank you for your letter and package introducing me to your work. I was pleased to review your works, and congratulate you on your exhibitions thus far. We are , however, unable to accommodate an exhibition of your work at the AGH, given our current mandate and commitments.
I want to thank you for your interest in the Art Gallery of Hamilton, and wish you every success in your artistic endeavours.
Sincerely
..........
Curator Of Contemporary Art

I will try again with this gallery/museum with the "Common Lives" Klong Toey work before I depart for Thailand in February.

35mm Thailand, Bangkok, Klong Toey Work #4

2012-01-17T00:21:00.001-08:00

Cleaning The Klong(Canal) #2 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Cleaning the Klong( Canal) #3 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

35mm Poipet Cambodia, Work #3

2012-01-16T19:59:00.000-08:00

Young Girl In Slum Shack, Poipet Cambodia 2011

Show Layout

2012-01-16T18:27:00.000-08:00

On my long -27C icy drive to work today I started thinking of the best way to layout my Kaasa solo show (January of 2013). The room which is very large displays its art work in laying down "b" shape. The long part of the "b" is first followed by a short 2 short wall bottom section.

So there I am driving and thinking about how to lay this out, how to make it most effective for the viewer? How I can tell my story the best way? W. Eugene Smith in his magazine and show layouts took this process to the extreme, he was extremely passionate about his work and tried to layout his story/show for maximum effect, he often worked obsessively to trying design after design for months on end. I will not go to Smith's extremes (few do) but I think I need to have a certain order to the images, a narrative that the person viewing the show can be drawn in by.

How to start? Was the thought going through my mind as I drove slowly down the slippery freeway. I think the best way would be to start with the children, to show the children first because people will be drawn to that and hopefully it will start the interest that might be held through all 40 photographs (going to try to print 40 -16x20s for this show). If you start out well, then your more likely to hold that attention through the entire exhibit.

Then I thought, what if I start out with a young boy portrait and then end with a old man portrait? Sort of the ages of man within Klong Toey slum. Think I might do it that way, my initial young man portrait will be this (depending if I can make a good print of this 35mm negative, sharp enough?).

The end photograph showing an old man portrait will be this photograph (am pretty sure I can make a good picture of this large sharp 4x5 negative).

I might also start with one of my 4x5 young boy shots, or the shot of a mother holding her baby also a 4x5 negative if the young boy photograph does not make a good 16x20 print.

Life Magazine: The Power Of Still Photography

2012-01-15T14:48:00.000-08:00

Life, In Black, white and color

By Bob Greene, CNN Contributor

(CNN) -- Winston Churchill, glaring, resolute, combative, left hand on hip, stares straight off the page -- a moment, and an image, like no other.

(How did the photographer, Yousuf Karsh, get that iconic pose from Churchill, Britain's prime minister, in 1941? Churchill told Karsh that he had very little time for the session. Karsh reached over and took Churchill's cigar from him -- then, as Churchill reacted, snapped the photo.)

Marilyn Monroe, at her most beautiful in 1953, leans back, wearing white slacks and a black sweater, and gazes off dreamily to her right. Somehow, even though being photographed for a national magazine, she appears supremely relaxed and right at home. Why? She was at home -- she knew that the photographer, Alfred Eisenstaedt, and the magazine, Life, would do right by her, and she had invited them in.

Prisoners at the Buchenwald concentration camp in 1945, their faces haunted, their bodies gaunt, their eyes showing nothing and everything, look out from behind the wire fence that imprisons them, just before they are liberated. How did Margaret Bourke-White happen to be there to shoot that photo? Gen. George Patton wanted the world to see why his soldiers were fighting. Patton understood that Bourke-White and her magazine -- Life -- were the best way for the world to witness and understand.

All these photos and hundreds more are in a book called "75 Years: The Very Best of Life." It was published just before the holidays; I bought copies for friends around the country, and all of them have told me the same thing: They are spending hours with it, looking for long minutes at individual photos, treasuring the talent of the photographers, many long dead.

It is the photographers that I keep thinking about as I have spent my own hours and days with the book. To be a Life staff photographer meant that you were among the best in the world. Professional news photographers, even the most highly regarded of them, find themselves in tenuous times today; it is expensive to have them on staff and to send them places to do their work. There is always going to be someone with a camera around to snap a close-to-good-enough image and sell it inexpensively or give it away.

So to linger over the photos in the Life 75th anniversary book -- it is a very large book, because Life's pages were large by design, for maximum impact -- is to marvel at the commitment the magazine made, especially in the days before television, to do whatever was necessary to bring the world to its readers. And to spend time with those images is to honor the talent and courage of the photographers whose best work is on the level of fine art -- fine art produced as the deadline clock is ticking.

They were there. They seemed always to be there, at the moments that mattered. Larry Burrows in Vietnam in 1966 as Marine Sgt. Jeremiah Purdie, grievously wounded, reaches for a comrade who is also hurt; Ralph Morse virtually living with the first astronauts, capturing Alan Shepard, in 1961, running toward the Redstone rocket booster that will propel him toward space; Bill Eppridge at Robert Kennedy's side in that California hotel kitchen in 1968, somehow, in the anguished confusion, getting the shattering photograph of busboy Juan Romero who is down on the floor with Kennedy, trying to comfort the dying senator. . . .

W. Eugene Smith in 1948 with Dr. Ernest Ceriani, the country doctor who was the subject of one of the most famous photo essays ever published, as Ceriani, on the edge of exhaustion, wearily holds a cup of coffee; Gordon Parks in Rio de Janeiro in 1961, paying tribute to the heartbreaking life of 12-year-old Flavio Da Silva, a boy who is malnourished and ill but who must care for his brothers and sisters; Eisenstaedt in Times Square on V-J Day in 1945, with the impossible task of trying to sum up in a single shot the nation's joy as the war ends, and doing so with that photo of photos: the sailor and the nurse. . . .

Life featured words, too, of course, but it was the photographers who were the stars. During my own tenure as Life's columnist, my first assignment took me to rural Kentucky with the Everly Brothers, as the singers returned to their late father's home. I was glad to be in the company of Don and Phil Everly, but the real thrill came from the days spent on the road with the great Life photographer Harry Benson. I kept looking over at him. So this is Harry Benson. So this is how he works. I didn't want to miss or forget a moment of it.

I should mention that Life and CNN reside under the same corporate roof. But I fell in love with Life long before there was such a thing as CNN; Life brought the world to my parents' Ohio home, and when the mailman delivered it each week, he was bringing us more than just a magazine. He was bringing us . . .

Well, he was bringing us life. Life observed with as much skill and guts and heart as those photographers could push themselves to produce.

Life, as a regularly scheduled magazine, is no more; it continues as a series of single-topic issues and special books, and its photography is featured on its popular website. But the Life that was read in America's homes each week, and then, later, each month, is gone.

"I can't stop looking at that book," Gary Griffin, one of the friends to whom I gave copies, told me on the phone from California the other night. Me, either. Jackie Robinson rounds third base in the 1955 World Series, the expression on his face the stuff of novels, and Ralph Morse freezes it in time and gives us the chills all these years later. Man, oh man. That was the life.

35mm Thailand, Bangkok, Klong Toey Work #3

2012-01-15T14:13:00.001-08:00

Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Bangkok 2011

Cemetary, Bangkok 2011

Boxer, Bangkok 2011

Boxing Judge, Bangkok 2011

Tree#1, Bangkok 2011

Cleaning The Klong (Canal) #1, Bangkok 2011

Couple Sleeping Near Canal, Next To Freeway Pillar Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Apartments, Children Play Soccer Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Father and Son Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

35mm Klong Toey Thailand Work #2

2012-01-15T07:00:00.000-08:00

Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Canal Water Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Klong Toey, Bangok 2011

Graffiti Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Worker Kong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Canal Water #2 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Self Portrait, Bangkok 2011

Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Man Who Jumped Into The Klong

2012-01-15T06:10:00.000-08:00

I wrote a story when I was in Bangkok about a man who jumped into the bacteria filled canal as I was photographing something else. He ran about staring around like he thought someone was following him, he seemed to be drugged and paranoid. This is one of the photographs I made of him that I think works, its not completely sharp but I think the slight movement adds to the effectiveness.

Baung-hee 41 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Wild Man In Klong

PDF On Alberta Galleries, Submission Requirements Etc.

2012-01-14T10:19:00.001-08:00

This link has all the information you need to submit your work to Alberta museums/galleries, from the VAAA blog.

http://visualartsalberta.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/gallery-survey-results-web.pdf

Another Attempt At Blurb

2012-01-14T09:32:00.000-08:00

Making another attempt at doing a blurb self published book, my last attempt with "Ladyboy Sex Worker"was an abysmal failure. This is the first attempt with the new set of portraits done in Klong Toey. It was made up quickly in the cheapest size and paper stock, I see it as a stepping stone on to creating a bigger and better book later on.

Klong Toey Portraits

35mm Poipet Cambodia, Work #2

2012-01-14T02:20:00.001-08:00

Poipet Cambodia 2011

These two images of the young child are cropped. I prefer not to crop photographs but I did a crappy job on the composition so was forced to.

Poipet Cambodia 2011

2003 Negative

2012-01-13T11:35:00.000-08:00

I scanned a few old 2003 color negs tonight and found this picture. I used to see this young boy quite often begging near a major shopping mall in Bangkok. I might try printing some of these old color negs using photoshop and a printer (darkroom color printing is so limited).

Bangkok 2003

Flooding In Bangkok

2012-01-13T02:22:00.000-08:00

Did not get many flood pictures, wanted to photograph people in the flood waters but did not find an area that worked for me. I guess you can only do so much, of so much, wish I would have had more time to travel to flood affected regions of Thailand. These photographs were made in Bangkok near the old Don Muang International (now domestic) airport, on my first day of shooting.

Untitled, Bangkok 2011

35mm Poipet Cambodia, Work #1

2012-01-12T23:41:00.001-08:00

These 35mm Poipet photographs were made with 2 Lecia M6 bodies and 3 lens a 28mm F2, a 21mm F2.8 and a 50mm F1.4. The film is Tri-x (how much longer will it be around?) exposed at 200 and developed in a Patterson tank 2/1 for 12 minutes and 30 seconds at 20C.

Now that the tech stuff is out of the way the more important stuff. Poipet is a very poor town on the Thai Cambodian border but that poverty does not prevent the people of Poipet from being warm and friendly. I was depressed photographing in Poipet but also felt a certain amount of joy and happiness because of all the people I met. Here are some stories I posted earlier.

In Poipet

Bags,Bags And More Bags

Children Living Next To Garbage Dumps

Poipet Cambodia 2011

35mm Klong Toey Bangkok Thailand, Work #1

2012-01-12T22:40:00.000-08:00

Will be posting lots of 35mm Leica work over the coming weeks, shot in Klong Toey and elsewhere. I might eventually be printing some of the Klong Toey stuff for the Kaasa solo show.

Boxers #1 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Klong Toey Bangkok 2011

Boxers Klong Toey Bangkok 2011

Klong Toey Bangkok 2011

Klong Toey Bangok 2011

Cart?

2012-01-12T05:50:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking of the best way to move up to 5x7 or 8x10. If I want to shoot "Common Lives" with a larger format that 4x5 I will need some kind of cart system to carry the heavier holders, cameras, lens and tripod. Maybe I can find a cart and store it in Thailand then use it to push all my gear about, it would have to be some kind of well built all terrain vehicle as I am going to be in some rough areas. I figure a 4x5 is about the limit on what I can carry on my shoulder and back, carrying anything larger requires wheels!

Not sure if I will move up to 8x10 but I have lots of Tri-x 5x7 in the freezer and have a Linhof 5x7 that I love using. The 4x5 available light stuff is coming off good now, seem to be hitting my stride with that equipment so will probably keep using the 4x5 Linhof for the forseable future.

More From The Winter Series

2012-01-12T05:34:00.000-08:00

Untitled, Alberta 2011

Some more original Banarama shots made back in October I think, of ice blooms on a river.

The Next Batch Of 4x5 Available Light Linhof Photographs

2012-01-12T04:07:00.000-08:00

Young Boy Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

This is one of the young boys I owed a photo to from last trip. I photographed him originally in September but the negative was not sharp (he was originally one of the yauk doo kids), so I did not print it. When I returned to Thai he asked for his photo, I felt lousy for not having one for him. This print is the second time around when I re photographed him in November, have to make sure I get him his photo this time! Here are the two stories:

Original Yauk Doo Blog

Let The Children Down Blog

Female Garbage Worker #2 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Old Man #1 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Old Man #2 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Hope For A Healthy World Photo Competition

2012-01-11T19:04:00.000-08:00

This is a very worth while competition please check it out if you have time. Thanks Steve for forwarding it to me. I might try entering some photographs from the Cambodian slum 35mm stuff recently shot, thou I am not sure any of my photographs fit into the health related aspect of the competition.

http://www.bdphotocompetition.com/

Some top class photography already entered in this competition, you can see it here.

http://www.bdphotocompetition.com/entries.shtml

Exposure 2012 Photography Festival

2012-01-11T09:59:00.000-08:00

This link takes you to the Exposure Photography Festival taking place in Calgary, Banff and Canmore, February 1-29th. I heard about the festival last night for the first time from my friend Larry, looks like something worth checking out! It is held not far from where I live, a 2-4 hours drive.

http://www.exposurephotofestival.com/

Exhibitions

Lastest 4x5 Available Light Shots

2012-01-11T05:11:00.000-08:00

Been frantically developing film tonight, here are a few scans I did while the jobo was fixing the next 10 negatives. I have the names of all my 4x5 subjects recorded and will up date the titles with names and ages later.

Tattooed Drinking Man #1 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Ex Sailer #3 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Female Garbage Worker #1 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Male Garbage Worker #1 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Tattooed Drinking Man #2 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Market Worker Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Tatooed Drinking Man #3 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Boy Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Market Worker Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

30 Large Prints! 1 Man Show!

2012-01-11T00:37:00.000-08:00

Well I got the confirmation today from the Kaasa Gallery representative at the Jubilee Auditorium. My first solo show will be held in January of 2013. I will have 30 large prints (maybe even a few more, might try for 40 as its a very large space), in the show. The photos will all be from Klong Toey Slum Bangkok, the 35mm Leica work and the large format 4x5 portraits, slumscapes.

This is exciting stuff, my first ever one man show will be 30 plus large 16x20 photographs (20x24 black metal frames) in a large gallery space, and in a beautiful historic Edmonton building. I can not think of a better first solo show gallery/site in Edmonton unless it was held at the AGA.

Started photography at 14, am now 47 (48 when the show happens), heck it only took 34 years! That was easy! : )

I got this opportunity because of the help of so many friends, I need to send them a thank you email. Like they say in Its A Wonderful Life, "Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends."

I have one year to make the prints, will get started this week!

Jubilee Auditorium, Edmonton Alberta

Kaasa GalleryJubilee Auditorium, Edmonton Alberta

Developing Film

2012-01-10T07:36:00.000-08:00

Spent the night developing film, lost 10 4x5 shots when I made a processing error (fix before developer!). Got some nice portraits done thou, check them out, added them to the "Next 4x5 Available Light Common Lives Portrait" link below.

Visions

2012-01-08T17:26:00.000-08:00

Been back in Canada now for 3 weeks or so, and still see the visions of the people I met and photographed. I close my eyes and all those faces come back to me, I can't shut them out, they constantly occupy my thoughts. I have to go back, make more photographs, tell those stories better and more clearly. I need to make images that will create lasting memories of these important people who fill my thoughts.

The Last Man Standing

2012-01-08T17:16:00.000-08:00

After a nights sleep I came up with a boxing analogy on what I need to do. In boxing you take blows in every round, punches to the body, to the head and sometimes your knocked down for the count. The boxer who wins, fights his way through the pain, he preservers, he gets up when knocked down, he takes the shots, comes back swinging. Winning a boxing match is most often is about desire and heart, who wants it more.

I need to fight through my failures, my mistakes, I need to show heart and desire and double my efforts, work harder and harder, devote more time, more effort, sacrifice more. I need to get up when I get knocked down and keeping fighting.

I owe the people who let me photograph, I owe it to them to work harder to tell their stories, to communicate their message.

I will continue to have failures, continue to make mistakes but no ones going to work harder than I am until the fights over.

Reading this over it sounds conceited/arrogant, to much me, me, me but its what I need to do to make good photographs. I have to work harder than the next guy, my artistic/photographic talent is limited but not my desire and drive.

Losing To Many Good Images

2012-01-08T06:26:00.001-08:00

Focusing mistakes (with both the Banarma and Linhof), movement errors are costing me to many negatives. It is so disheartening to have the exposure, the pose, the feeling right in a photograph and then screw up the focus some how or have subject movement. I have to keep working at it, keep trying but its so depressing to almost have it and then look at the neg under a loop and see its out of focus. I need to improve my camera skills, I make to many mistakes. I feel down and lousy, am going to develop another 10 sheets then go to bed, another 12 hour nightshift awaits, the last of 7 work nights.

More Banarama 2 Shots

2012-01-07T07:22:00.001-08:00

Monk In Front Of His Hut, Poipet Cambodia 2011

Homeless Lady, Poipet Cambodia 2011

Nid 51 Sex Worker, Bangkok 2011

Boxer Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Bell Boxer Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Boxer #2 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

The picture of Boxer #2 is the type of portraiture I want to do more and more with the Banarma 2, straight in your face with harsh flash in low light where you cannot shoot with a tripod mounted 4x5. The rangefinder hand held Razzle Banrama 2 allows me to make photos like this that I cannot make otherwise. I always loved the work of Weegee, Diane Arbus and Bill Burke, need to practise and work more with the Banarama 2 and Kermit to improve my technique, then the skies the limit on what can be created.

Ladyboy Sex Worker #1, Thailand 2011

Ladyboy Sex Worker #2, Thailand 2011

Next 4x5 Available Light "Common Lives" Portraits

2012-01-07T07:06:00.000-08:00

Man #1 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Man #2 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Boxer Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Ex Sailor #1 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Boy Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Ex Sailor #2 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

This photo is also a self portrait (look at the reflection).

Garbage Truck Driver Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Market Worker #1 Klong Toey, Bangkok 2011

Market Worker #2 KlongToey, Bangkok 2011

Dazzled By Razzle's!!

2012-01-06T05:36:00.000-08:00

Even thou I made some technical mistakes my first time out with the Razzle Banarama 2 135mm camera I have very high hopes for this camera, and her sister camera the Kermit 90mm. There is such wonderful fluidity shooting with a 4x5 rangefinder, you can move, dance, shuffle, compose quickly and shoot on the fly. With the Linhof I get wonderful negatives but the tripod, the reflector the setting up can affect the spontaneity of the picture, with the Razzle's I can attack move in and photograph quickly. Both 4x5 camera systems offer different positives but I love the Razzle's ability to shoot in a 35mm style with large 4x5 film.

The latest developed Banarama 2 shots from the trip seem to be better than the first batches, less focusing/depth of field errors. Like any camera the Razzle will take some time in the field shooting before it becomes second nature to me.

I like the haunting effects the flash/daylight can give the subject. thou I wish I had less smiling Cambodian people portraits, the people I was photographing in Poipet were always smiling, and I did not know how to say please don't smile in Khmer!

Learning and shooting more and more with the Razzle camera's is something I am really looking forward to, hopefully I can do a whole series of strong images.

http://homepages.ihug.com.au/~razzle/

Nightly Multi Tasking

2012-01-06T05:09:00.002-08:00

Getting a bit worn down these days, I am multitasking darkroom work and my regular 12 hour nightshifts. After working all night I go home and develop 20 sheets of 4x5 from the November trip. I have done that 4 nights in a row, tonight feel a bit bagged, might have to take tomorrow off and go to bed a bit earlier. Its so exciting thou to develop and scan the film, to see the good of the work is rewarding, the opposite of course is true when I screw up the focus or there is some other kind of technical error.

Maybe I will try it 1 more time, after tonights nightshift! Got to see those negs, can't wait!!

"Ain't Photography Grand!"

Quote: Eve Arnold (Photographer)

2012-01-06T05:09:00.000-08:00

"If a photographer cares about the people before the lens and is compassionate, much is given. It is the photographer, not the camera, that is the instrument."

First Banarama 2 Photographs

2012-01-04T22:16:00.000-08:00

Am posting some of the first Banarama 2 (Razzle 4x5 rangefinder camera) photos developed and scanned. I lost many of the photographs through poor technique on my part, many of the negs I shot are not sharp, I think its a combination of getting used to a new camera, mistakes in focusing and using to large of an aperture (little depth of field). In the developed negatives so far I have lost about 1/2 as a result my mistakes.

Next trip I hope to use the Banarama 2 again and also its sister the 90mm Kermit Razzle. The more practise I get with these wonderful tools the better the photographs will be.

These photographs were made with a combination of direct flash and daylight, the harsher look is something I like. Thank you photographer Bill Burke!

Monk, Poipet Cambodia 2011

Two Temple Construction Workers, Poipet Cambodia 2011

Customer, Daughter and Barber, Poipet Cambodia 2011

Street Worker, Poipet Cambodia 2011

Metal Shop Worker, Poipet Cambodia 2011

Back Of Slum Home, Poipet Cambodia 2011

"Winter"

2012-01-04T18:24:00.000-08:00

My friend Rob and I are working on a joint submission with the theme of "Winter". Rob is a much better landscape photographer than I am so I will be riding in on his coat tails if the submission is accepted but I thought it would be fun to try and shooting nature/landscapes is so relaxing. After the slums of Cambodia and Thailand it was great to just go out and shoot something calm and pretty with a friend. It was a nice calm, quiet day of just having fun and looking for photographs, a day to recharge my batteries. Here are a few scans of the photos made last Friday.

Linhof 5x7, Tri-x developed in D-76 using a Jobo.

Untitled #1, Alberta 2011

Untitled #2, Alberta 2011

Untitled #3, Alberta 2011

I also did some "Winter" themed photos with my friend Rob before I flew to Thailand in November, here are a few of those scans.

Untitled #4, Alberta 2011

Untitled #5, Alberta 2011

Untitled #6, Alberta 2011

This photograph was made with the Banarama 1 before it was stolen on my last Asian trip.

Untitled #7, Alberta 2011

Untitled #8, Alberta 2011

Quote: Emile Zola

2012-01-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

"What I look for in a picture before anything else, is the man."

Quotes: Vincent Van Gogh

2012-01-03T19:51:00.000-08:00

From the biography "Van Gogh The Life" by Steven Naifeh and Gregory White Smith.

"I am a fanatic! I feel a power within me...a fire that I may not quench, but must keep ablaze."

"I want to paint what I feel and feel what I paint."

"As my work is, so am I."

Freeway, Canal, Slum Shacks

2012-01-02T18:26:00.000-08:00

Did some more 4x5 Linhof freeway, canal, slum shack photos this trip.

Canal and Freeways #1, Bangkok 2011

Canal and Freeways #2, Bangkok 2011

Overcoming Fears

2012-01-02T03:56:00.000-08:00

Many people I know in various clubs, online etc. have a fear of approaching and photographing people. I to constantly fight that fear, the fear of making pictures of people, the fear of anger/rejection if I try. The "Common Lives" project in various forms has filled my thoughts for probably the last 10 years. I always wanted to try to do a grand photography series and thought why not do pictures with a large format camera in Asia, but I always had this fear, how can I do that? Everything seemed so daunting, traveling, carrying the gear, being good enough technically, communicating in another language, paying for the project, but most of all I was afraid to make the pictures. I was afraid to approach strangers in busy public areas and make their pictures. Now that I am into the series, now that I some good work behind me, some good negs in the bank it all seems so much easier. I am excited by and look forward to making many more portraits, am looking forward to approaching hundreds of more people and trying to complete this massive undertaking.

I think I have partially overcome my fears but need to push harder and truly get to the next level in the creative process, I need to improve the flow of the making of the work. The help of my friends (Rob P, Jim G, Jim A, Sheila H) in the clubs I belong to, the help of great photographers like Jock Sturges and Larry Louie and the encouragement of the Edmonton Art Council, gallery owners like Mimi and Quinton G, have also been of great help.

The most important thing I did thou was to get off my ass and try to do it, sometime you need to throw caution to the wind and just dive in, I might yet fail in this endeavour but f-ck I am going to go down swinging!

Tech Problems

2012-01-02T03:48:00.000-08:00

I am losing to many negs to technical movement problems. I shot most of my portraits at in Thailand with the Linhof at 1/4 and F11+ (some down to F5.6). I think next time I need to shoot more at 1/8 of a second to try and reduce subject movement problems especially in the tighter shots. Its heart breaking to lose a potentially strong image to subject movement, it feels like a punch to the belly, I had a few of those belly shots today! What a terrible waste to lose those images, I let my subjects down on those shots.

The Epson V700 Photo scanner is also coughing and spitting, working sometimes and not at other times. I wonder how long it will continue to work? I cannot afford another scanner so I hope it keeps working for at least a few more years. I need to use all my money to make "Common Lives" photos in Thailand during my Feb/March (my last trip for quite a while) and I also need to buy as much Tri-x as I can to store in case Kodak stops making film.

Boy losing those portraits to subject movement was hard, I keep thinking of it over and over again, those lost negs will haunt me for several more days.

Scanner Up!!!

2012-01-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

Here are the first scans from the last trip, I got my scanner up and running a few minutes ago. The photograph of Ai was made in an area of Klong Toey where I returned repeatedly and photographed drinking men, glue sniffers and others living their normal lives. Ai I met 2 times, the first time led to this photograph, he was standing off in the distance as I photographed some young boys in a group, he eyed me rather suspiciously. One of the young boys called him over and I made this picture of Ai after asking his permission. This man made me feel a bit uneasy, hopefully I can photograph him again when I return to Thai in Feb/March.

All the photographs below were made with a 4x5 Linhof 2000, Tri-x film and a Nikon 150mm lens in available light with a reflector.

Ai Klong Toey Slum, Bangkok 2011

Klong Toey Slum, Bangkok 2011

First 4x5 Film

2011-12-31T15:46:00.000-08:00

I opened up my first box of exposed 4x5 film from the trip and developed 10 sheets. The sheets so far look good :) They are of a young man named Ai who lived and hung out in a drug/drinking area I photographed in, he might have been involved in the drug trade somehow (dealer?), only saw him 2 times, the first time I photographed him with the Linhoff. I also developed some of the freeway canal negs and 2 negs of an old couple who lived in a shack near the drug people. The negs of the old people were shot in very low light (doorway of their shack home), if the portraits turn out it will give me confidence to continue shooting in similar lowlight conditions.

When your making the pictures its quite tiring, carrying around the gear, working in the hot weather, dealing with all kinds of people while speaking a foreign language, transporting everything through multiple airports around the world etc. Its all worthwhile thou when you make a good picture, all the work is worth it, a successful portrait makes it all worthwhile.

When you make a good neg the high you get is better than than anything else I experience, I got a bit of that a few minutes ago when I looked at the negatives for the first time, seeing those beautiful negatives makes everything worthwhile. Next time I need to work twice as hard!!

I feel happy, am on a high right now.

Happy New Year everyone!!!, bye till later I am off to a dinner and a small new years party.

Development Of 35mm Continuing

2011-12-29T12:51:00.000-08:00

I am continuing my development of the 35mm film from the last trip, I have done 70 rolls or so now, will try to get it all developed in the next few days before I go back to work. I am also eager to develop the 4x5 film from the trip (especially the Banarama 2 stuff) plus some 5x7 I shot recently.

Then of course I still have to print the sex worker white background stuff for the coming group show in April 2012. Sometimes there do not seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done.

Freezing Tri-x

2011-12-29T12:44:00.000-08:00

With all of Kodak's problems I have decided to buy a large supply of Tri-x film and keep it frozen. Kodak seems to be on the edge of bankruptcy and might stop making film any day now. I ordered 70 rolls of Tri-x 35mm bulk 100 foot rolls. I also ordered 1900 sheets of 4x5 and 50 sheets of 8x10. I will need to pay for all this film in instalments as I am very short of money right now, but it was important to get it ordered now while it is still available. I will try to add to this stock later next year, I want to have over 100 rolls of bulk in the freezer as well as a large supply of 4x5.

When I come back from Asia in March I will have to get a second job to pay for everything. The idea is to build up a 10 year supply to lesson the effect a Kodak bankruptcy will have on my photo work. eventually I will probably have to change to Ilford HP5 as my film of choice.

Changing Back

2011-12-27T08:35:00.000-08:00

So there I am last night having a post Christmas meal with my father, mother and family. The table is covered with food, turkey, ham, meatballs, pyrogies, cabbage rolls, perishke, salad, potatoes, dressing etc etc. I am looking at at all this wonderful food but thinking back to the young children I photographed in the slums of Poipet. "What are the children doing? What is that girl with the big eyes doing now who lived next to the garbage dump, what is she eating today tonight?"

9 days ago I was photographing groping ladyboys in short time sex rooms bars of Pattaya Thailand, 11 days ago was photographing people slaving pulling large wagons of goods across the border, 12 days go Cambodian children playing in garbage, 14 days ago Thai teenagers smelling glue from bags, 15 days ago people working picking up garbage in the canals of Klong Toey, 17 days ago young 12 year old boys training to become Muay Thai boxers.

Now I have to change back to being Canadian security guard again. Last night I was sitting with this table full of food in front of me, listening to the group talk about the weather and what pills they were taking for upset stomachs and acid reflex etc.

My 45 year old sister who does not work, has no responsibilities and has everything provided for her is complaining. She lives in a beautiful big house with her pets is talking about her stomach issues and telling stories of her numerous animal (Bob did this and Dodo did that). I am sitting there half listening and half thinking of the young girl with the big eyes in Poipet living in the garbage, of the family of more than 10 (5 or more children) living in a run down slum shack, of the 7 year old girl washing dishes in the back of her small wooden house at the back of a temple, of the young teenage boys in Bangkok sniffing glue, of the workers I photographed in Bangkok standing, working, living in garbage. Now today here I was sitting at this table of food with my family listening to my sister telling stories of her dogs, cats, doves etc. It all seems so surreal. Is this world I live in now real? Do people worry more about doves, cats and dogs more than they do hungry children in slums?

How do I switch back to being a Canada guy again?

The great photographers like Salgado, Sheikh, McCullin switch back between these worlds often (and they see truly horrific things much worse than I experienced), not sure how they do it, maybe it's something I have to learn.

The photographers that switch back from these other worlds are no doubt irrevocably changed by their experiences (how can you not be?). They must just pretend better, hide it better than I can, this will take me some time.

Quote: Paul Strand

2011-12-26T14:25:00.000-08:00

"I like to photograph people that have strength and dignity in their faces, whatever life has done to them, it hasn't destroyed them. I gravitate to people like that."

Quote: Sebastiao Salgado

2011-12-25T22:16:00.000-08:00

"Detachment is disaster for the documentary photographer. You must live within the situation, let it become your real life, share with the people what they are going through the best you can. Do I question myself? No, because all my ethical concerns have been decided ahead of time. There can be no room for doubt. You don’t go to take anything from anybody or to exploit them. You don’t “take” pictures, you make pictures; you make them well and use them to communicate, to help the people and the situation."

Breakfast With Salgado Story

2011-12-25T22:11:00.000-08:00

Breakfast with Salgado

by Bennett Stevens

OK, so breakfast is a bit of a misnomer. More like coffee and crumpets for 20. The occasion was a morning workshop put on by Fotovision.org, a San Francisco Bay Area non-profit organization dedicated to helping documentary photographers create, edit, fund and distribute their work worldwide.

And so we were gathered at "the feet of the master" in a small studio across the street from Pixar Animation; a gaggle of "emerging" photographers joined by Pulitzer Prize-winning photojournalist, Kim Komenich of the San Francisco Chronicle; multi-award-winning social documentary photographer, Ken Light; renowned photo editor and longtime Salgado collaborator, Fred Ritchin of Pixelpress.org; and a small film crew.

I sit directly down the long rectangular table from Salgado; he is at the head, I at the ass end, a perfect juxtaposition of our skill levels. He looks good, a vibrant 60, blue eyes shining under a white baseball cap that covers his perfectly baldpate. After a brief introduction, Sebastiao, good naturedly, informs us that he has never conducted a workshop and has little idea of where to start. So he asks us to begin by asking him questions.

And so we do. And will for the next three hours. His answers come thoughtfully, forthrightly, engagingly, lengthily. His English, though virtually fluent, is spoken with a Brazilian Portuguese accent tinged with Parisian, and is not always easy to follow. The film crew is ever lurking, the soundman perpetually swinging his fuzzy, stuffed animal (windscreen) of a mike over our heads. The wind, to the best of my meteorological abilities, is coming out of nowhere at zero kilometers per hour.

First up is a 30-something photojournalism teacher, a liberal intellectual type who poses a rather labyrinthine question, or group of questions, most of which he answers for himself. I cannot recall the first exactly, but the gist is essentially, what is your philosophy as an artist. The gist of Salgado’s answer is, “I am not an artist and so I have no philosophy as one.”

Next!

Even though Sebastiao masks it well — his actual answer is not so curt of course, and one senses that he’s dealt with these types before — he has a certain level of disdain for the over-intellectualization of photography. The journo prof's continuance amounts to pointing out a common criticism — a thorn in Salgado’s side as Fred Ritchin lets be known — that he makes beautiful pictures of people suffering, that he somehow romanticizes and even exploits it. What do you say to these critics?
I paraphrase:

Salgado: Here I am 20 years later and people are still talking about Sahel, reprinting Sahel, and of course it’s topical again since the ongoing tragedy in Darfur. If I did not make these pictures with good light and good composition, if they were not compelling, how would they now be contributing to the discussion about Darfur? The information from the Sahel book keeps circulating because the pictures are well made.

Eduardo Galeano, who along with Ritchin wrote essays that appear in Salgado’s An Uncertain Grace, explains it thus:

Galeano: Salgado's photographs, a multiple portrait of human pain, at the same time invite us to celebrate the dignity of humankind. Brutally frank, these images of hunger and suffering are yet respectful and seemly. Salgado sometimes shows skeletons, almost corpses, with dignity — all that is left to them. They have been stripped of everything but they have dignity. That is the source of their ineffable beauty… That instant of trapped light, that gleam in the photographs reveals to us what is unseen, what is seen but unnoticed; an unperceived presence, a powerful absence. It shows us that concealed within the pain of living and the tragedy of dying there is a potent magic, a luminous mystery that redeems the human adventure in the world.

A young woman, who’s worked with Steve McCurry in Tibet, asks about coping with the emotional aspects of photographing in such conditions, and if he ever questions himself. Fred Ritchin steps in.

Ritchin: People often assume—wrongly—that Sebastiao has to stay detached from the suffering, otherwise how can he cope with it. And this goes to the heart of who he is as a photographer and as a man. The last thing he wants to be is detached.

Salgado: Detachment is disaster for the documentary photographer. You must live within the situation, let it become your real life, share with the people what they are going through the best you can. Do I question myself? No, because all my ethical concerns have been decided ahead of time. There can be no room for doubt. You don’t go to take anything from anybody or to exploit them. You don’t “take” pictures, you make pictures; you make them well and use them to communicate, to help the people and the situation. Many times the suffering people in the Sahel would see me working and they would ask me to come and photograph them or a loved one as a way of helping to solve the problem. In time they come to your camera like they would come to a microphone, they come to speak through your lens.

His famous use of light is “part of who I am," says Salgado. Raised on an Amazonian cattle ranch, with dust and smoke resulting in diffuse light, and with simple structures allowing mostly chiaroscuro lighting situations indoors, this was the medium through which he came to see the world. He knows it and knows how to work with it. He will often shoot against the light, even overexposing his Tri-X up to five stops!

Salgado holds up his Workers book, just one of several multi-year projects, shuffling through the pages until he finds the famous photo of an oil worker in Kuwait after Gulf War 1. The man is seated and slumped and covered in crude, having spent a long day under black skies putting out oil fires. It’s about an 8 x12 inch image, without an unusual amount of grain. We guess the ISO was 400. Wrong! In actuality it was shot at 3200. The reason for so little grain was that the subject and the background were almost entirely black and white, with little by way of gray tones.

By this time I am stepping on Komenich’s Pulitzer feet and snapping off a few shots with my new digital Nikon. Salgado is not a fan of the digital camera. Nor is Ritchin, who, being a photo editor prefers to see the evolution of an image — and a photographer — frame by frame. The fact that digital images are so often destroyed on the spot is bothersome to him. He goes on to say how sometimes an image can remain on a contact sheet, overlooked for decades before being “discovered”. Salgado’s own documentary archive exceeds half a million images.

Karen Ande of andephotos.com, who documents the AIDS crisis in Africa, asks the question I was about to ask. I paraphrase:

Ande: Given the number of intense and emotionally delicate situations you’ve put yourself in, you must have a special way of getting people to accept you and your camera. People dying, their loved ones suffering are not always happy to see a lens pointing at them.

Salgado: This is very true, and so you must always have asked permission. Not for each time you click the shutter, but to be a part of the situation in the first place. When you first arrive it’s important to get introductions. If you go to a village or a factory or into the fields or a feeding center in the desert, you must get introduced or introduce yourself to whomever it is that can give permission in that situation. Explain yourself in a way that makes your being there important for them. It’s one thing to make ‘street shots’ here and there, but to tell a story you must get inside the story and live with the story, in a sense becoming part of he community. This also allows you to know when not to be pointing your camera, when it would not be appropriate. There are times I do not make the picture, out of respect for the people and the moment.

With this Salgado draws a Bell curve on a pad of paper. The bottom of the near curve is where you — the photographer — approach and first enter a given situation. Here on the street you may be using a longish lens. Then you make your introductions. You explain yourself and most importantly, get permission.

At first the shooting can be very difficult, a steep, slow trudge up the curve. But after a few days or a week, as people become accustomed to you and your camera, you climb the curve more steadily. As you get deeper into the story your lens gets shorter. The pictures get better. When you approach the apex of the curve, there is less gravity working against you. The people have accepted you and dropped their defenses. The story enters its climax stage at the top of the curve and you are now using your shortest lens and making your best pictures. Inevitably you begin to sense a natural drop off; the story winds down. Traversing down the other side of the curve is a bit like cuddling and having a cigarette after sex. Gradually, and as gracefully as possible then, you extricate yourself from the bed of the story, giving your thanks and saying your goodbyes, while your lens (and here we must depart from the sex analogy) is once again getting longer.

Galeano: Salgado photographs people. Casual photographers photograph phantoms… Consumer-society photographers approach but do not enter. In hurried visits to scenes of despair or violence, they climb out of the plane or helicopter, press the shutter release, explode the flash: they shoot and run. They have looked without seeing and their images say nothing.

We spend a fair amount of time discussing the “framing” of a documentary project. In other words, know what you want to do, what your project is going to be about, and that your reasons for doing it are very important to you. If they are not, the difficulties of any given situation may overcome your dedication to it, and your work will reflect it.

Do as much research as you can. Wherever possible, develop contacts for your introductions ahead of time. Again, know the heart of the story you plan to tell with your photographs. Of course you cannot know the specifics; these will take care of themselves. And of course, things are never as you expect them on the ground, so you must also be nimble and prepared to make adjustments. Keep your eyes and your mind open, but at the same time stay focused on the main threads of your story. Otherwise you may think things are going well, only to return home and discover that somewhere along the way you lost your story, and are left with only a few nice pictures.

Fred Ritchin talks about some lesser-known aspects of Salgado. About how they worked together on a project to eliminate polio worldwide, which has been very successful if not 100 percent yet. He mentions how Salgado donates time and money to Medicins Sans Frontiers (MSF) and other groups helping the developing world. How he has rehabilitated rainforest in the Amazon where he grew up. How his current project, Genesis, is a risk and a departure from his previous work, and that he is learning a new medium format camera specifically for it.

The genesis of Genesis was Migrations, or rather the despair he felt at the he end of the project. He saw so much destruction of the environment, so much greed leading to human displacement and intractable poverty in the second and third worlds that his faith in humanity was badly waning. He wanted to address the reasons for this loss of faith in a way that would help to restore it, both for him and others. Like all his other major works, this project will take several years; he estimates seven. It is these multi-year projects that set Salgado apart from other great documentary photographers.

Salgado: I conceived this project as a potential path towards humanity's rediscovery of itself in nature. I have named it Genesis because, as far as possible, I want to return to the beginnings of our planet: to the air, water and fire that gave birth to life; to the animal species that have resisted domestication and are still "wild"; to the remote tribes whose "primitive" way of life is largely untouched; and to surviving examples of the earliest forms of human settlement and organization. This voyage represents a form of planetary anthropology. Yet it is also designed to propose that this uncontaminated world must be preserved and, where possible, be expanded so that development is not automatically commensurate with destruction.

Our breakfast with Salgado is over before we know it, and it’s time for lunch without him. Fred will continue the workshop after the break. Outside, still in something of a daze of icon envy, I spot Sebastiao heading down the block and resist the urge to run after him. He is off across the bay where he will be giving a fund raising speech later that night. To think that the best "pure" documentary photographer on the planet still has to work at raising money for his projects is more than a bit daunting. Seven-year projects are not easily funded of course, but the price of his well-earned emancipation from assignment work pays for itself in many other ways. Most importantly, it gives him the freedom to express the world he sees to the world at large, to speak directly through his lens without having to endure a bad translation from some editor sitting behind a desk in New York or Paris. There will be plenty of that after the fact, when the photo-intellectuals swoop down to feed and regurgitate to the public what they are so often incapable of fully digesting for themselves.

Quote: Sebastiao Salgado

2011-12-25T22:07:00.001-08:00

"If you go to a village or a factory or into the fields or a feeding center in the desert, you must get introduced or introduce yourself to whomever it is that can give permission in that situation. Explain yourself in a way that makes your being there important for them. It’s one thing to make ‘street shots’ here and there, but to tell a story you must get inside the story and live with the story, in a sense becoming part of he community. This also allows you to know when not to be pointing your camera, when it would not be appropriate. There are times I do not make the picture, out of respect for the people and the moment."

Kodak Out Of The Film Business?

2011-12-25T05:38:00.000-08:00

Kodak Sells Off Its Gelatin Business

Michael Zhang · Dec 23, 2011

Kodak is burning through $70 million every month and desperately trying to stay alive by selling off divisions that other companies are willing to buy. After selling off its sensor business last month, the company announced yesterday that it has agreed to sell off its gelatin business (called) Eastman Gelatine) to Rousselot, the world’s leader gelatin producer. Gelatin is one of the main components used in photographic film and paper, so this certainly can’t be good news for Kodak’s future in film photography. Terms of the deal weren’t disclosed.

First Films Developed

2011-12-25T05:00:00.000-08:00

Developed my first 16 rolls of 35mm Tri-x yesterday, will do another 8 today before I go to bed (working one more night shift). The film I developed yesterday looked sharp, well composed with good contrast, you got to love those Leicas!!!

Quote: Billy Kwan

2011-12-22T22:51:00.000-08:00

From the movie "The Year Of Living Dangerously" Photojournalist Billy Kwan (Linda Hunt) speaks about the reason women in Jakarta Indonesia work as prostituteses.

"Starvation is a great aphrodisiac."

Quote: Sebastiao Salgado

2011-12-20T20:25:00.000-08:00

From the book "Photography as Activism, Images For Social Change" by Michelle Borgre.

" You have a very different way of looking at the world when you come from the south to the north. I come from this world, and I have a different understanding of the poor side of the world. I look at the poor without pity because I know they are only poor materially. They are rich in culture and tradition. It's different than the poverty in America. The ghetto is poor materially and spiritually. This is what I was trying to get people to understand. This world is not a poor world in a spiritual sense. I never wanted to give a conscience to anyone. These pictures were to give a basis for reflection and discussion. To see the men who lived in South America., Africa, and Asia are the same men who live here (the developed Western world). We are the same. When you save those people, you are saving yourselves.

Upcoming Shows

2011-12-20T17:01:00.000-08:00

Well am back in Canada, back at work, back trying to make money to pay off debts and save for more photography opportunities.

Not making pictures now but at least the photography show situation has improved, the "Fading Lives" show is done now, but I have 3 other shows opening over the next year and a bit.

1) April 2012 at Visual Arts Alberta in Edmonton, I will be showing 5 or so large prints (20x24) and at least to large diptychs (2-16x20s in 1 frame) from the sex worker on white background series shot in 2007 and 2009.

2) After May 2012 (not sure of exact date) I will have my first one man and first international show at the Toot Yung Gallery in Bangkok Thailand.

3)Early 2013 (not sure of exact date) I will have a show (one man? or part of a group? not sure) at the Kassa Gallery in the Jubilee Auditorium in Edmonton.

Film Scrounger! And Changing Back To Being A Canuck

2011-12-19T14:52:00.000-08:00

I am starting to plan my next trip (and last for quite a while) to Thailand for March 2012. I will not have money to buy new film so have to use up all the film I have in my stand up garage freezer. I might shoot 8x10 this coming trip to continue the white background work

I have 150 sheets of Tri-x 8x10 (mostly outdated) and about 175 sheets of discontinued JandC 400 8x10 (outdated) I can use as well as 110 sheets of color Portra 8x10 (outdated),

I have about 400 or so sheets of 4x5 Tri-x as well. I might need to buy some more bulk 35mm to shoot thou as last trip I used up 5 bulk canisters, I do not think I have much of that film left.

I need to pay for the air ticket and use up all my old film stock, scrounging and hoping all the outdated film is still good.

This next trip, my third in about 7 months will be the most difficult to finance, going to have to cut as many corners as I can. When I return to Canada will probably have to take a second job and work harder to pay off my debt and hopefully eventually save some money to go back to Thailand/Cambodia to continue my photography projects.

One step at a time, I need to organize myself over the coming months to get the latest work developed and printed (want to give out free photos to those who I photographed) as well as print for the VAAA show in April and apply for grants and other shows.

First things first thou, I need to get over my jet lag, slept like 4 hours and then woke up early feeling bad. I am working 7, 12 hour nightshifts over the next week. Its tough bouncing between worlds like this, last week I was photographing slum children in Poipet Cambodia, and Ladyboys in Pattaya Thailand and this week I am working as a night guard shovelling snow in Canada! I can still see the faces of all those people in Asia, I still feel the emotions from those experiences, some of those moments those feelings are haunting my thoughts now. Its hard to switch channels back into security guard mode - Canadian mode, hard to start talking Christmas stuff and NHL hockey stuff again.

Extremely short of money right now, thank goodness I will get $750 from the Edmonton Arts Council for the "Common Lives Project" (Peoples Project) travel expenses. I think I can apply one more time for this project (believe the rules are a max 2 travel grants per project).

Maybe I will apply for a second travel grant for "Common Lives" (Peoples Project) in 2013.

First Ever Grant!

2011-12-19T13:55:00.000-08:00

Found another envelope amongst my mail received while I was on my trip, this envelope was from the Edmonton Arts Council. I applied for a travel grant many months back and it was accepted! Its only $750 dollars to help cover travel costs (my air tickets to Thailand are about $1400) but heck its a grant, my first ever grant and I am desperately short of funds right now, it is also nice that the work is considered important enough by the Edmonton Arts people to justify this grant.

Thanks very much to the Edmonton Arts Council, the grant money is greatly appreciated.
....................
Dear Gerry

Thank you for your application to the 2011 CIP Travel Grant program on Oct 1. The jury assessment was completed, and the Board of the Edmonton Arts Council (EAC) considered the jury's report in early November.

I am please to inform you that based on the jury's report. The Board of the Edmonton Arts Council intends to recommend to Edmonton City Council that you receive a grant of $750 for your travel as described in your application, summarized as follows.....................

J H
Edmonton Arts Council Board of Directors.
....................

First Edmonton 1 Man Show?

2011-12-19T05:50:00.000-08:00

On returning to Canada I accessed my website email and got some good news. I had submitted work for a show at the Kassa Gallery at the Jubilee Auditorium ( home of the Edmonton symphony, concerts, ballet, opera etc.), I found out on my return I got the show. At this point am not sure what the deal is, is it a 1 man show? A group show? How many photos? Will find out and post more details in the coming days.

The photographs in the show will be from my shoots in Klong Toey Slum in Bkk in 2010. Hopefully this will be my first 1 man show and will include over 20 large photographs.

Here is the email I received from the gallery while in Thailand.
-------------------------

Gerry, Hi.

I believe you are in Thailand now – I had hoped that my original email telling you that we’ve accepted your show would have reached you before you left, but, since I’ve not heard from you, I suspect it did not.

I am hoping that we can look at hosting your show in early 2013 in the Edmonton gallery – Can you let me know, when you return, if this will work for you?

Thanks, very much.

------------------------

I expect to be getting several rejection emails in the coming months. I have applied to 4 high end Canadian Museum/Galleries and expect those to be rejected. I will post those letters/emails as well.

At least the news today is a positive. I have a group show in Edmonton in April, a one man show in Bangkok sometime in 2012 and a 1 man (?) show in Edmonton at the Kassa in 2013. Things at the moment are looking up, it will be a blast to print the photos for all those shows, will be lots of work but also should be loads of fun!

Am looking forward to printing the work and seeing how people respond to it. I am happy the people I photographed in the Klong Toey will be seen. I did more photos in Klong Toey this last trip, hopefully I can include a few of those photographs as well.

Back In Edmonton!

2011-12-19T05:41:00.000-08:00

Flew into Edmonton at about 140am about 1 hour and 30 minutes late, a delay on the last flight from Vancouver on Westjet.

I was able to get 2 seats on China Airlines from Bangkok to Taipei, and 4 lovely seats on the flight from Taipei to Vancouver. I watched 3 movies, relaxed and read a book on art history, plus I slept a bit! The flight back to Canada was not to painful it was actually kind of comfortable! Now thats the way to do that!

Thai Barbershop

2011-12-19T05:38:00.001-08:00

Had a wonderful haircut my last day in Thailand. The barber rescued a poor haircut I had gotten from a lady stylist earlier in the week. He spent about 1 hour, shaving, cutting and manicuring my military style cut with both an electric shaver and scissors. He even cut my nose hairs with a pair a scissors (did not realize I was so nose hairy!). At the end of the haircut he used a paint brush to paint a lubricant around my ears, neck hairline and side burns, after he did that he took out a fresh shaving blade and gently cut the small hairs in the areas lubricated. Just when I thought he could not make the haircut any better he massages my neck and arms for about 3 minutes. What a was a wonderful experience, this haircut sort of made me feel like clay being molded by an artist.

I paid 80 baht for haircut with a 20 baht tip ($3.32). Got to visit this guy later on and have another haircut, also want to make his portrait with the 4x5 Linhof and available light.

No Old People!

2011-12-16T10:43:00.000-08:00

One of the things that you notice in Cambodia is the lack of old people. I met and photographed a few older people but not many. I believe the reason there are not many old folks around is because most of them died during the Khmer Rouge period (1.7 million people died in 4 years). The Vietnamese invaded and ended the Khmer Rouge mass murder in 1979, so that means anyone in Cambodia over 32 years of age lived during that period, most everyone in the country has lost family members. Imagine that, almost every Khmer person currently alive in Cambodia has lost family members to the Khmer Rouge or maybe they were the Khmer Rouge soldiers doing the killing, how does a country recover from that level of genocide?

Currently in Cambodia there are war crimes trials going on but they are only going after the top 4 or 5 people (all old men). The current head of the country Hun Sen is a former Khmer Rouge member so obviously they do not want to open to many doors and let out to many secrets otherwise those in charge of the current dictatorship might be implicated.

2nd Day Of Photographing Ladyboys

2011-12-16T10:10:00.000-08:00

The second day at the ladyboy bar was easier than the first, no groping this time! I managed to photograph 2 ladyboys, Khun Bo 27 and Khun Ae 28. Both of them were fun to shoot thou Ae was a bit harder to work with. I will try to photograph them both again if I do more white background photos (a third set after the 2007 and 2009 series) with the 8x10 next year.

I said goodbye to some of the ladyboys (Noy, Bo, Ae and Meow) at the bar and also said bye to young Nid (female worker I have known for 8 years), she looked tired tonight. The girls at her bar sit up front on the street night after night advertising themselves, how can you do that for 8 years like Nid has and still smile?

I am off to Bangkok tomorrow, then its off to Canada. I need to pack my bags, my film and my cameras (carry on bags only this time!!!!!). The flight home promises to be painful, 3 planes and about 24 hours of cramped uncomfortable flying. but its the price I have to pay, its the price that allows me the freedom to create the work I want to create, the work I have to create.

Talked To Young Nid

2011-12-15T13:09:00.000-08:00

Young Nid has the eyes of a hawk. I photographed her 5 or 6 times through the years dating back to 1999. As I walked down the soi (road) of her bar she quickly recognized me, called out my name and waved me over, I had not seen her since 2010 and only talked to her 1 or 2 times that year (photographed her once). She teased me for forgetting her birthday (November 17th). I asked about her house (she is building a house for her family back in her home town) which is not yet done (2 years of construction and counting). She looked older less tired than the last time I saw her, she is stll very pretty with a small rose tattoo over her left breast.

I might try to photograph Nid again in March, I have no time and little film left this trip. I hope she can finish the up country family home and get out of the sex worker world, she has worked the soi in various shortime bars for about 12 years now.

I Used To Work A Hotel

2011-12-15T12:56:00.000-08:00

Meow 23 a ladyboy who I photographed today has only been working in the short time sex bar for 2 weeks, before the bar she worked in a hotel (regular non sex worker job). She told me she did not like working the short time bar but she had to make money, she kept her work in the bar a secret from her family. She showed me her photo which had a photo of her with one of her customers a handsome young Taiwanese man who did not know (at least thats the story I was told) Meow was a ladyboy when he took her, he thought she was a real women, Meow explained who she was and they had sex. The photo was of both of them hugging and topless.

In the room away from the street Meow is a nice polite person (no groping) but she did try some flirting tricks at the end of the photo session (sitting very close to me on the bed, looking into my eyes and asking "Is that it? No Sex?"), afterwards she helped me downstairs when I was looking for another ladyboy to photograph.

I want to understand more about the transgender ladyboy world, what are their true feelings? their true emotions?

Getting Mauled By Ladyboys

2011-12-15T12:33:00.000-08:00

Went to a bar where I often photographed ladyboys here in Pattaya. While I was trying to find someone to shoot, I got mauled, grabbed and groped by 2 ladyboys I did not know. Another ladyboy named Noy who I had photographed before in 1999 and 2010 straightened the girls out and told them what I was really interested in (taking photos). When I talked to her about it (the groping) Noy explained to me that they did not know me and they were just working (chasing customers), I knew as much and said ok no problem. The groping stuff gets hard to handle sometimes thou, I spend half my time speaking very fast Thai and the other half pulling away hands from my groin. One ladyboy even got down on her knees and pretended to perform oral sex, not exactly a shy person.

I am now typing up these blogs in a cafe behind where I did the ladyboy short time room portrait sessions. I had another ladyboy named Bo banging on the window and asking to be photographed tomorrow, she had a strong face, will try to shoot her tomorrow my 2nd day and last day of shooting in Pattaya.

More To Come

2011-12-15T12:08:00.001-08:00

I wrote up some blog titles (listed below), I will fill out the stories later on as I have more time and more energy, check back later if your interested.

Pattaya Farang The Zombie Stare

2011-12-15T12:06:00.005-08:00

Not sure why but there seem to be more zombie like stares from male farang sex tourists, sex pats this trip to Pattaya than in trips past. I seem be seeing multiple farang staring zombie like into space even if they are sitting at a table with a Thai woman girlfriend-sex worker. For many of the farang here life must be pretty boring, they drink, they eat, the have sex, they drink, they eat, they have sex and maybe once in a while they gossip a bit with other sex tourists-sex pats (often bitching about Thailand and Thai people).

What kind of life is that? Its a pretty repetitive, a pretty boring, a pretty useless way to live. You might be better off being a real zombie! A dead, slobbering, blue skinned, stone faced, foot dragging creature of darkness, at least you might have a chance at a movie or TV deal : )

Pattaya The Farang City

2011-12-15T12:06:00.003-08:00

Pattaya Thailand is a Thai city but at times it seems more like a farang city. It is a city of farang tourists, sex tourists and sex pats. Many farang males come to this city and never leave, they find an apartment or buy a condo, get a Thai girlfriend or just find one every night at a different bar, their lives here often revolve around drinking, eating and sex.

I find Thai people much more aggressive here as well, their is a hunger for money and quite often a rudeness an abruptness that you do not feel in other parts of Thailand. I also noticed this ruder type behavior in the bar areas of Bangkok. The sex scene hardens everyone (the sex worker, the sex tourist, the normal Thai workers around the scene), some people still smile, some people are still polite but there is more of a harsh edge to everything. After experiencing Thai people in the real Thailand the subtle changes in behavior I feel here in Pattaya are not so subtle!

After 2 days in Pattaya I am ready to get out of here.

Your Cold!!? Are You Kidding Me?

2011-12-15T12:06:00.001-08:00

So I am walking around Poipet Cambodia looking for photographs. The weather in the streets is quite hot, but not melting hot its about 22-26 C. I am lightly sweating wearing my thin shirt and long pants but when I look at the Cambodians I am a surprised by their clothing. Many (most) Cambodians in Poipet are wearing a long sleeved shirt and also a fall/spring (Canadian) style jacket. Under a hot sun in 26C weather how the heck can you wear a hat, a long shirt and a heavier jacket like that?

Not all the people were wearing jackets, some were wearing short sleeve shirts and longer type shorts (knee length), I guess some Cambodian people can take the bitter frigid 26C temperatures without dressing up!

Bags Bags And More Bags

2011-12-15T12:05:00.001-08:00

Both Cambodians and Thais are plastic bag crazy. Everything you buy has 2 or 3 bags, they have a plastic bag for this a plastic bag for that. If you go and buy som tum (papaya salad) on the street for 25 baht you get a clear plastic bag for the som tum, you get a smaller plastic bag for the kaow nee-owe (sticky rice) plus you get a third big white bag to carry everything in. If you go to buy some sautee moo (pork) on the street, you get one bag for the pork, one for or two more for the various sauces and then a 3rd to carry everything else.

Styrofoam is also a big seller here, styrofoam containers of all kinds are used for all kinds of foods sold on the streets. You get styrofoam this and styrofoam container that all carried in/with multiple plastic bags.

When I was in Poipet I saw the end game for these bags, they were strewn all over the place, on the street, in the gutters, half burried in the mud, flying through the air. In Klong Toey slum, I saw all the used plastic bags and styrofoam containers floating down the canal, a floating smelly mess.

How long does this stuff last before it decomposes? In the old Thai way food was often stored in banana or other kinds of leaves and tied up with strings made from plants all of that stuff decomposed naturally. Now its all stryrafoam, plastic bags and elastics, that seem to never disappear.

I photographed children in Poipet living in shacks next to a field of this type of garbage, thousands and thousands of plastic bags and styrofoam containers. Going back to the old ways where storage containers decomposed naturally was a better way to do things, sometimes progress is not progress.

Gambling Next To A Slum

2011-12-15T12:04:00.005-08:00

Had a hard time dealing with the wasting of money at the casinos after seeing the poverty in Poipet. In the casinos Thais, Chinese and others waste millions of baht gambling yet just 1/2 a kilometer away children live in abject poverty, they run through filthy, muddy streets and play in areas covered in garbage with open sores on their legs and arms.

During my 2 days of shooting in Poipet Cambodia I experienced poverty like I had never seen before, when I returned to my room after the days shoot I would walk through the casinos where I saw people blowing big money gambling. How f-cked up is that? Hungry children, children living in dirty wooden shacks next to garbage dumps filled with cockroaches and rats 1/2 a kilometer away and yet millions of baht is wasted playing games, something is really f-cked up with a world that allows that.

Pulling Carts/Wagons Across The Border

2011-12-15T12:04:00.001-08:00

At the border area of Poipet Cambodia and Aranyapthet Thailand there is a lot of trading and the transportation of goods between countries, the products are shipped via wagons pulled by hand. When the carts and wagons go back and forth between Cambodia and Thailand they are often hauled by groups of men. Usually there is one person up front pulling (horse like) and multiple people pushing from behind. The whole scene looks like some kind of ancient Egyptian slave labor pyramid building type thing (it's like they are hauling blocks of stone while being whipped). The carts are old, often made of wood, the men who pull them have to work hard to keep everything moving forward especially when the carts are loaded down and over flowing with goods (overloaded actually).

I have been told in the past that the reason they have to physically haul wagons like this across the border was because if you used a vehicle there were extra customs fees but if you dragged things across by hand in a large wagon then you did not have to pay those fees. The other obvious reason is most of the people who do this are very poor and cannot afford a car/truck for transporting goods, doing it by hand is their only option.

I shot a few flash night time shots of people hauling wagons back across the border before it closed at 8pm. In the future I might try doing a series of portraits on this subject.

Cambodian Seller Honesty

2011-12-15T12:03:00.003-08:00

I bought several items while in Poipet Cambodia, the local sellers gave me the real Cambodian price, they did not try to drive up the price for the rich barang (barang is the Khmer word for a farang).

I got a big styrofoam bowl of Cambodian deserts (deserts in Cambodia are awesome) for 10 baht (33cents), the seller gave me a bigger bowl to balance out the 10 baht cost. Most Cambodians buy a smaller bowl worth for less money but when I only had a 10 baht coin the lady selling the desert used the bigger bowl to give me an honest deal, she could have easily given me the smaller bowl (I would have not known the difference) but she was honest with me, I paid more so got more.

Got To Improve My Khmer

2011-12-15T12:03:00.001-08:00

I need to work on my Khmer, need to become much better at the language. I know there are some apps for my iPhone that I can download, that might help a bit. If I can get my vocabulary up to to 200 or 300 words, I could communicate on a basic level. If I can communicate I can understand more, and if I understand more hopefully the photographs will be better. I can also make friends more easily, and help in other ways besides photography.

Speaking is the key to everything it opens doors!

Old Man In 70s Working Hard (Khmer Rouge Survivor ? )

2011-12-15T12:02:00.003-08:00

As I was leaving Poipet town my last day in Cambodia I came across an old man, old, heavily wrinkled, a bit frail but still hard at work. The man was working at a construction site, there was a foundation for some buildings nearby. He had a hoe/pick type tool with a long wooden handle and was digging, pulling and arranging the hard dirt along the edge of that foundation.

I took some far off shots then moved in and did some closer shots, when I was quite close I asked him his age and he told me, he said he was over 70 (not sure if he knew his actual age, birthday, maybe not).

When I saw him working with that hoe/pick it reminded me of Dith Pran's work in the movie "The Killing Fields". This man being over 70 had lived through that terrible time in Cambodian history, he could have done similar work, with a similar tool during the time of the Khmer Rouge when he would have been about my age or a bit younger (40s). What experiences had he endured, what hardships? As I watched him work I wondered how many times and for how many hours he had swung that tool with heavily armed, black dressed Khmer Rouge soldiers nearby watching for weakness. Or had he been a Khmer Rouge himself? Had he executed men, women and children for the cause of the revolution because Anka (the Khmer Rouge term for the party/leadership) had told him to do so.

Kicking Game On Border

2011-12-15T12:02:00.001-08:00

We all have a kid inside ourselves alive I saw a bit of that amongst the Cambodians near the border immigration building my last hours in Cambodia. When I got to the border I watched 8 or so men playing a kicking game, there were local men working the area along with 3 immigration police playing, ranging in age from their 20s to their 50s.

The game involved a badminton birdy type thing made of plastic that you kicked into the air. The men laughed, joked, yelled and kicked this thing back and forth around the circle, some sessions lasted more than 10 kicks, they were pretty good at it.
It was fun seeing these usually official, usually rather stern govt officials acting out like 12 year old boys. with no worries, just having fun with friends. We all need to keep the child inside us alive, once we lose the ability to be childlike we lose an important part of what it means to be alive.

I made one photo with the 4x5 Banarama but a faster wider lens camera like the Leica would have worked better.

Children Crying Or Curious

2011-12-15T12:01:00.002-08:00

While walking around Poipet I generally got two reactions from children, tears/fear,or joy/excitement. To many children I am a big white monster marching straight from the gates of hell, they look up at me, cringe and run to their mothers before bursting into tears. With many other children thou there is excitement, fascination and yells of "Hello!!!" when I reply with a my "Hello" there are giggles, smiles and shouts of joy usually followed by more "Hellos!"

Poipet One Big Slum Worse Than Klong Toey

2011-12-15T12:01:00.000-08:00

The slum areas of Poipet Cambodia are far worse than anything I saw in Klong Toey back in Bangkok. Most of Poipet seems to be slum like, they have a few hotels, a few guesthouses, some nicer buildings but for the most part Poipet is one giant slum. I doubt I will be able to forget the children of the Poipet, its something I will think of often when I return to Canada. In my minds eye I can still see children laughing and smiling, yelling hellos to me as they run through garbage filled streets.

Children Living Next To Garbage Dumps

2011-12-15T12:00:00.001-08:00

As I catch up on my blogs from Cambodia now that I am back in Canada the one thought that keeps coming back to my thoughts is of the young children I met in Poipet living amongst garbage in filthy slum shacks. I keep seeing their faces, their smiles, their large questioning eyes. How can people live like that? How can you grow up in that world? Even with loving parents that level of poverty has to damage your soul in some kind of long lasting way.

Four or Five children living in one slum home, open cuts on their feet, walking in the mud amongst the garbage with no shoes but still able to smile, still able to laugh and make toys out of the things they can scavenge. Their faces haunt my thoughts, what will their futures be?

Hopefully some of the photos I made of these children will have enough power to show others what I saw and felt, maybe the photographs can raise awareness of these forgotten lives, and promote compassion and understanding.

My one main hope is that the photos will lead to positive change, that people will react to the images and help in some way. Maybe they go to Cambodia and work with HIV orphans, maybe they donate some money to a Cambodian charity, or maybe they just spend a thanksgiving in Edmonton dishing out food at a local shelter, its all good!

No Hand Grenades Please

2011-12-15T11:49:00.000-08:00

So as I am walking into the Casino of the border resort hotel I was staying at, I had to pass through both an X-ray machine and a metal detector. Alongside the metal detector was a sign with 6 items not allowed inside the Casino.

1) No Hats Allowed
2) No Photos Allowed
3) No Cellphones Allowed
4) No Knifes Allowed
5) No Handguns Allowed
6) No Hand Grenades Allowed

Damn!! I wanted to take my hand grenades in with me when I gambled but I was forced to check them with security!

The sign was a variation on this one:

You got to wonder how safe a place is when they actually have to put up a sign that says no hand grenades allowed, is that actually a big problem? Do people really travel to casinos with their hand grenades?

I Have No Money, So Have No Wife

2011-12-15T11:33:00.003-08:00

Met a young man of 30 in the Wat along the main road of Poipet Cambodia. He did not speak English but we spoke Thai to each other for 20 minutes or so. He was a big man with an imposing face, 30 years old named Seelot.

I asked him if he had a wife, he said he did not have a wife, because "I am not handsome and had no money." He said that with a sad and melancholy expression but spoke very softly and politely (belying his rather harsh face, bushy eyebrows and large imposing body), I offered him some money for food he took it after initially refusing with a shy smile.

How can people like Seelot stay so positive when they live in situations like this, no wife, no family, no money, no education, no future.

Handing Out Money

2011-12-15T11:33:00.001-08:00

Handed out small bits of money to many people and many children during my 2 photo walks in Poipet. The money is small but maybe it will help the people a tiny bit. To give a bit of money to an honest man or a mother with a large family, or to a young child is a two way street of goodness, it helps the person a tiny bit and it also helps me, we all need to put others before ourselves. I am much to selfish a person but for some small moments over those 2 walking photo days I felt like I brought a tiny bit of happiness to another person. It was not only the money, it was also smiling, laughing and joking. It was about sharing a bit of friendship time with these people that mattered. The Poipet children's eyes were filled with such wonder when they looked up at me, the older people often smiled or shouted and waved hellos.

My main hope thou is that the photos will live and speak of the lives of the people of Poipet. I hope the photographs will be seen, felt and understood, that they will help in some small ways to lead to a greater understanding and compassion for those less fortunate than ourselves.

Quote: Dina Cambodia Border Immigration Policeman

2011-12-15T11:32:00.000-08:00

I foolishly joked about money with a Cambodian border policemen, Mr Dina. Its easy to joke when your some smart ass Canadian tourist, not so easy to joke when your a poor border immigration man making $100 a month (not counting corruption money taken from foreigners getting visas).

The joke was a standard one I do with people, am not serious about it but in this case it was inappropriate, I have to think before I blab next time. I was talking with the policemen at the border checkpoint about going back to Canada to work soon, and how I had no money left to stay longer in Asia, the standard joke is I hold out my hand and say "If you give me some money I can stay longer!" I say it in a joking way with a smile on my face. Usually I get a grin, or a giggle and a slap on the shoulder or something similar, this time thou Mr Dina's reply was:

"How can I give you money? Cambodia is a poor country."

When he said it he looked straight into my eyes with and honest but sad expression.

Dina worked with an NGO before becoming a border policeman, he learned his English with American and Malaysian teachers, he now makes a $100 a month checking passports at the border, he works 365 days a year without a holiday for between 13 and 15 hours a day.

My work in Canada pays me much more and I work one week on, one week off, 12 hour shifts. My job allows me the money to chase my photographic dreams, to travel and to experience the world. This man barely has enough to support his family ( he has a wife and a 6 year old daughter).

No more stupid jokes Gerry! Be mindful of who your talkig to, try to put yourself in their shoes.

I also think I accidentally stole Dina's pen! When I got back to the room I realized I had a unknown pen in my pocket! Damn!! I have to try to give it back to him if I return to Poipet next year, maybe I can bring a gift for his daughter as well.

Higher Comfort Level

2011-12-15T11:24:00.003-08:00

I had a much higher comfort level photographing in Cambodia this trip compared to trips in the past. I think my friend Larry has helped me to become more bold in my approach. Larry is a lion in his pursuit of photographs, he is not shy, he is polite, courteous and generous but aggressive, I tried to follow his example this trip.

I still did things slowly and politely but I was more bold in my approach, I got out earlier, I entered shops, homes and other areas I might have been afraid to do in the past. I approached people politely with a smile but was much more tenacious, more daring in pursuit of the photograph. I even spent time talking to and made a few photographs and friends with Cambodian immigration police.

People Here Much Poorer Than Thais

2011-12-15T11:23:00.003-08:00

Traveling from Thailand to Cambodia the first thing you notice is the increased poverty, the moment you cross the border there is a dramatic drop in the quality of the buildings, the roads, the way people dress etc.

In Bangkok I had to make a special trip across the city for 1 hour to photograph in Klong Toey slum. In Poipet the whole town is basically poor and slum like, you have a few nicer buildings, guesthouses and hotels but for the most part the entire town is impoverished, most of the town is a slumlike worse than anything I saw in Klong Toey.

Just like Klong Toey , maybe even more so, I found the people of Poipet extremely friendly and outgoing, they want to talk to you, say hello, smile and wave, they offer you a drink or a place to sit near them, they make you feel welcome.

Bolder And More Aggressive

2011-12-15T11:23:00.001-08:00

I was bolder and more aggressive with my photography this trip both in Thailand and especially Cambodia. In the past in Cambodia I have been fearful at times, afraid to approach people and make the photos that needed to be made. This trip things flowed more easily, I approached and shot more aggressively while still trying to maintain a proper politeness and respect for my subjects.

In the future I need to ramp it up even further, I need to really push myself.

Acting Out Instead Of Speaking

2011-12-15T11:22:00.001-08:00

In Cambodia I found photographing without Khmer language skills (only spoke a few words) difficult but not impossible. I went into acting out mode, using smile, laughs, nods of the head, hand gestures and various vocal sounds to get the photographs. When I am in Thai I talk extensively, I could not do that in Cambodia (unless they spoke English or Thai), I was forced to use my wits, to act out what I wanted, I had to try to communicate without words.

I think the photos will be OK but I missed speaking to people. I need to learn more Khmer. I do not only want to make photographs, I also want to understand more about my subjects lives, language is the key to getting to that next level.

Nurturing Our Mind For Disasters

2011-12-15T11:14:00.000-08:00

Read this in the Bangkok Post while in Cambodia:

Nurturing OUR MIND for disasters

While we are all concerned with the floods and looming natural disasters, PHRA PAISARN VISALO points out the dangers of a wrecked mind, which can bring us more and greater damages than any disasters could. Here the scholar monk shares some guidelines to help us cultivate our mind to better cope with life's crises

There are many causes that lead to a wrecked mind. Aside from greed and selfishness, there is anger. In a face of anger and hatred, we can hurt those we love and are close to us. Husbands hit their wives. Children hurt their parents. Siblings are caught up in feuds with one another. And not to mention others, with a wrecked mind, we can even hurt ourselves. There were those who ended their lives because they felt neglected by their lovers. Some, feeling enraged, took their lives to avenge their parents. Despite a comfortable affluent life, many decided to die. For some cases, they may survive the deadly thoughts, but still the uncontrolled rage causes them to fall fatally ill. There have been people who suffer from strokes and become paralysed for life as a result.

Fear, too, can wreck our mind; and leads us to disastrous situations. Gripped by fear, we become terrified; the mind produces all kinds of thoughts which put us in sleepless nights and loss of appetite. Some people become panic-stricken after learning from a doctor that their prognosis of cancer is three months. Unable to accept their impending death, they became so anxious and so depressed that they cannot sleep or eat. Only twelve days later, they died an agonising death.

Succinctly put, our mind is wrecked because we are unaware of ourselves; our thoughts and feelings. We allow anger, greed and fear to take over and misdirect our mind, which in turn drives us to do anything, including hurting ourselves. On an impulse, some jump off a building, jump from a bridge or jump into the street to get run over by a car _ or get a gun to end their life as well as others.

Therefore, what we need to do in times of disaster is to compose ourselves. Do not fret or become so frightened by external dangers that we overlook the ever-greater danger that lies within. The mind, which should be the source of happiness, can turn into our worst and most fearful enemy. Remember, nothing hurts us more than our own mind, according to Lord Buddha; ''The misdirected mind brings about damages far greater than our enemies can do to us.

Enemies or those who hold grudges against each other do not cause as much harm as a mind that is misdirected and strayed from dharma. Or as I put it, a wrecked mind. Thieves may steal our precious belongings, but they cannot take away the happiness from our heart. Likewise, those who scold at us, no matter how hard and harsh their words are, cannot hurt us if we do not allow them to. But because our mind is misdirected and wrecked, then even a few trifling words can drive us into insanity and self affliction.

There were people who committed suicide after hearing undesirable remarks, though not ruthless. For instance, when a mother said to her child, ''I can't afford to get you a mobile phone'', or when a dad said, ''If you fail the exam, I'll cut you off from the family''. These words can get some people to end their lives. Are these words too belligerent? I do no think so. But because the mind of the listeners is misdirected, then anything detrimental can happen.

Therefore, maintaining the equilibrium of our mind is very important. If we learn to nurture our mind, then we will not be fearful or worrisome in the wake of disasters. Yet, this does not mean that we would be indolent, doing nothing. In times of disaster, we should be vigilant, making all preparations needed. However, in a fright-free manner.

We also should keep in mind that disasters are beyond our capacity to control or predict. Thus, we should be prepared to cope with them at all times; not only natural disasters, but also man-made calamities, such as a fire outbreak. Even if there are no present disasters, our mind, that is calm and poised, can help us face the natural courses of life, such as sickness, loss, and death.

These are some guidelines on how to take care of our mind.

Be constantly aware of our thoughts and feelings...
Do not let fear, anger and greed occupy our mind. When we hear the news or rumours about natural disasters and all the doomsday predictions, be very mindful. Do not be frightened. Scrutinise all the information to get to the truth; otherwise, we may fall prey to the rumours and be a part in disseminating untruthful news. We should persistently follow mindful awareness practices and incorporate these practices in our way of living. This way, our mind will become calm and firm, unwavering with any incidents that come into life.

Be in the present moment.

Do not be worried about the future or things that have not yet come. Being prepared for plausible danger is good, but if we are too obsessed with it, we could suffer from groundless fears. After we do our best for disaster preparation, we should then give our full attention to the present moment. Live in the moment and take joy in the things we have right now. Do not be too concerned with the future that we become restless and stressed. In doing so, we not only bury ourselves in misery but we also throw away the joy that exists in the moment.

Accept everything that has happened

There is no use in complaining, throwing a tantrum or denying incidents that have already happened. Doing so would not improve the situation; on the contrary, it exacerbates our suffering. What we should do is accept the situation and reflect on a way forward. How can we solve the problem? How can we reduce the damage?

Yet, when we do our best to alleviate the circumstances, we need to let go of the results and the loss that has occurred. Things can be lost, but we should not lose our minds. Remember that as long as we still can breathe, we can still regenerate our lives and earn things that have been lost.
Suffering does not stay with us forever, it will disappear one day.
Contemplate on death and dying

We all die ... and we can die at any moment; this is a truth we should always be aware of. Actually, death is close to life _ more than any disaster. Without natural disasters, we still die.

We never know when death will knock on our door; it could be today or later tonight. Then we should ask ourselves these questions ... if we were to die today, are we ready to leave this world? Have we done enough good merits in this lifetime? Have we finished all our important businesses? Are we ready to let go off everything _ our possessions, children, parents, lovers, including our physical body?

If we do not feel that we are ready, then, don't waste time. Treat others with care and constantly be aware that today could be our last day with our loved ones. Do not pass the chance to treat them well while we still can.

Be generous and kind.

The more obsessed we are with ourselves, the easily prone we are to suffer. But the other way around, when we think about those who suffer more than ourselves, our predicament becomes small and, thus, tolerable.
Take this story for example. Nine days after an earthquake, which was followed by a tsunami, in Japan earlier this year, a volunteer went to the hard-hit areas to distribute some provisions to the tsunami victims. That day, the queue was very long and the volunteer saw a nine-year-old boy at the end of the line.
He approached the boy and learned that the boy had lost his parents in the tidal waves. And all that he had left was the T-shirt and pair of shorts he was wearing. Determined to give his jacket to the boy, the volunteer took off his jacket. While he was doing this, the food packet he had kept for himself fell to the ground. He picked it up and also handed the packet to the boy.
The boy accepted the food, bowed and said thank you. But he did not eat the food. Instead, the boy walked towards the front of the line, placed the packet of food on the tray reserved for distribution, and walked back to the end of the queue.
To his amazement, the volunteer asked the boy the reason why he did not take the food for himself. The boy replied: ''There might be many more people who are hungrier than I am. I put the food there so that it can be fairly distributed to all.''

Undoubtedly, this boy was suffering, but he was kind and generous to others. Feeling empathy for others will enable us to be tolerable to our own plights.

If we allow our mind to be wrecked, it can harm us more than any person could. On the contrary, if we take good care of our mind, it will become our best and noblest friend. We would find happiness even in troubled waters and transform our miseries into bliss.

No one and nothing can give us such a noble gift but a mind that is fixed on the path of dharma. As Lord Buddha said: ''No mother, father, nor relatives can do this for us, but the mind, well trained, can deliver this to us''.

If we fix our mind on the path of dharma, we will discover the noblest things that our parents cannot make for us.

This great flood is another lesson that shows us the nature of impermanence. It is telling us that nothing genuinely belongs to us. One day, all that we have and possess will be gone. The more we cling on to them, the more suffering we will have. Additionally, take this as a warning from nature; the future would see more great disasters, both at a national and global level.

Is it true or not, that our loss today is still considered trivial when compared to the loss that will happen to us in the future, especially, when we are to leave this world? When that fateful day arrives, no matter how much we possess, we will lose them all, including our breath.